Articles / How to Give the Other Person a Fine Reputation to Live Up To
How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleResearch shows leader expectations can boost performance by over 100%. Learn how attributing positive qualities to people helps them become those qualities.
Written by Laura Bouttell • Sat 24th January 2026
If you want to improve someone in a certain respect, act as though that trait were already one of their outstanding characteristics.
People tend to live up to the reputation you give them. If you treat someone as trustworthy, they become more trustworthy. If you treat them as capable, they become more capable. If you treat them as unreliable, they become unreliable.
Your expectations become their reality.
This phenomenon is well-documented in psychology. In the original 1968 study by Rosenthal and Jacobson, teachers were told that certain students were "late bloomers" about to show dramatic improvement. In reality, these students were randomly selected. Yet by the end of the year, they showed significantly greater gains than their peers.
A meta-analysis of 17 workplace studies found that the Pygmalion effect produces remarkably strong results: an average effect size of d = 1.13. In practical terms, this means leader expectations can improve performance by more than 100% compared to neutral expectations.
The research also revealed something important: the effect was strongest for people who initially had low expectations held of them. In other words, giving someone a positive reputation is most powerful when they're not used to receiving one.
In the workplace, managers and leaders can profoundly shape employee work results through their expectations. High expectations boost morale, motivation, and productivity. Low expectations result in disengagement and underperformance.
When you give someone a reputation to live up to:
Research shows that mediating factors like feedback mechanisms and social climate play important roles—the effect works best when the positive expectations are accompanied by supportive behaviours, not just words.
Speak as though the desired quality already exists:
Instead of: "You need to be more reliable." Try: "I've always been able to count on you. That reliability is one of your greatest strengths."
Instead of: "Try to be more organized." Try: "Your organizational skills have really impressed me—I know you'll keep that standard."
Find real examples that support the reputation you're giving:
"Remember how you handled the crisis last quarter? That's the kind of calm under pressure I know I can always expect from you."
Even a single example can anchor a positive reputation.
When appropriate, state your positive expectations in front of others:
"I've asked Maria to lead this initiative because she has a talent for bringing people together."
Public declarations raise the stakes—Maria will work harder to prove you right.
This powerful phrase attributes quality directly to their character:
"I know you're the kind of person who keeps their commitments." "I know you're someone who does the right thing, even when it's hard." "I know you're the type who follows through."
When they fall short of the reputation, frame it as an exception:
"That's not like you. I know you can do better."
This maintains the positive identity while addressing the specific issue.
A warden introduced a newly released prisoner to a potential employer: "I'd like you to meet one of the finest young men I've ever known. He's honest, hardworking, and I'm confident he'll be an asset to your company."
The former prisoner—who might have been introduced as an ex-convict—instead heard himself described with qualities he aspired to have. He spent the rest of his career proving the warden right.
On our Quarterdeck leadership courses, we use this exercise to develop the habit of giving positive reputations:
For three people you want to help develop:
Example:
Teachers who use this technique see remarkable results:
"You're one of the most thoughtful writers in this class" produces more thoughtful writing than "You need to put more thought into your essays."
"I can tell you have a real aptitude for this subject" produces more effort than "You need to try harder."
The label shapes the effort.
This works powerfully in families and friendships:
To a spouse: "You've always been the patient one in this relationship" encourages patience.
To a child: "You're the kind of person who finishes what they start" encourages persistence.
To a friend: "You give the best advice because you really listen" encourages better listening.
What if you're attributing a quality they don't seem to have? Consider:
If you truly can't find evidence of the quality, you might be dealing with the wrong person for that task.
Just as positive reputations lift people, negative ones sink them:
"You're always late" makes lateness part of their identity. "You never follow through" predicts—and produces—more of the same. "You're not good with details" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Be careful about the reputations you assign. You might be creating what you complain about.
This technique works well with:
When someone has a reputation to live up to, even their faults seem easier to correct—the subject of the next principle.
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.