Learn to inspire better behaviour by appealing to people's higher aspirations. Discover how framing requests around noble motives gets better results.
Written by Laura Bouttell • Sat 24th January 2026
J.P. Morgan observed that a person usually has two reasons for doing something: one that sounds good, and the real one.
The person themselves may not recognise the real motive. But they cherish the noble-sounding reason.
Appeal to the noble motive. People want to see themselves as honourable, fair, and principled. Give them a chance to be those things.
Everyone wants to be seen as a good person. When you frame a request in terms of noble values—fairness, integrity, responsibility, compassion—you're inviting them to live up to their best self.
Most people will take that invitation.
This isn't manipulation. You're genuinely believing in their capacity for goodness and offering them an opportunity to demonstrate it.
Even when someone's behaviour has been problematic, assume positive intent:
Instead of: "Why didn't you deliver what you promised?" Try: "I know you're someone who takes commitments seriously. Something must have happened—help me understand."
This gives them dignity while addressing the issue.
Identify the noble value your request serves:
Instead of: "I need you to work this weekend." Try: "The team is counting on us, and I know you're not the kind of person who lets others down. Can you help out this weekend?"
Instead of: "Don't share this confidential information." Try: "I trust your integrity with this. It needs to stay between us."
People work hard to maintain their reputation:
"You have a reputation for fairness, and I'm hoping you'll demonstrate that here."
"I've always known you as someone who keeps their word."
"Everyone says you're the person who can be trusted with difficult situations."
Find values you both hold and connect your request to them:
"We both care about doing right by our customers..." "As fellow parents, I'm sure you understand..." "Since we both value honesty..."
Shared values create alignment.
Express confidence in their better nature:
"I know this is asking a lot, but you're the kind of person who rises to challenges."
"I'm confident you'll handle this with the integrity you're known for."
"I trust you to do what's right, even when it's difficult."
When angry strikers were photographed burning Rockefeller in effigy, he didn't respond with force or legal threats. He appealed to their nobler motives.
He met with them, acknowledged their grievances, and treated them as reasonable people with legitimate concerns. He expressed confidence that they wanted what was fair, just as he did.
The same workers who had been ready for violence became open to negotiation—because Rockefeller had addressed their better selves.
A landlord had a tenant who was six months behind on rent. Traditional approaches—letters, calls, threats—had failed.
He tried a different approach: "You've been a good tenant for years. You've always been reliable and trustworthy. I know the kind of person you are. Something must have happened that made this difficult. I want to work with you on this because I know you want to do right."
The tenant opened up about a job loss, and together they worked out a payment plan. The appeal to the tenant's sense of honour—their identity as a good person—accomplished what threats could not.
Integrity: "I trust your word on this."
Fairness: "I know you want to be fair to everyone involved."
Responsibility: "You're someone who takes responsibility seriously."
Compassion: "I know you care about others' wellbeing."
Excellence: "Your standards are higher than this."
Loyalty: "You've always been loyal to the team."
Courage: "This takes courage, and I know you have it."
Take five requests you need to make (or have recently made):
Example:
Sometimes people don't respond to appeals to noble motives. This tells you something important:
If appealing to nobility doesn't work, you haven't lost anything. And you've given them a chance to be their better self, even if they didn't take it.
When you treat people as if they're capable of nobility, many rise to meet that expectation. When you treat them as potential problems, they often confirm that expectation too.
Your assumptions shape their behaviour. Choose assumptions that bring out their best.
Noble appeals work best when combined with:
When appeals to reason aren't enough, sometimes you need to dramatize your ideas to make them compelling.
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.