Articles / How to Remember That a Person's Name Is the Sweetest Sound
How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleMaster the art of remembering names using research-backed techniques. Learn why names are uniquely difficult to remember and the specific strategies that improve recall by 50% or more.
Written by Laura Bouttell • Sat 24th January 2026
Here's something I find oddly comforting: almost everyone struggles to remember names. It's not just you. There's a scientific reason for it.
Research by psychologists Hadyn Ellis and Andrew Young at the University of Exeter found that names are harder to remember than almost any other type of information about a person. You'll often remember someone's occupation, where they're from, or even obscure facts they mentioned—but their name? Gone.
Why? Because most names lack meaning. "Sarah" doesn't connect to anything in your mind. It's an arbitrary label with no imagery, no associations, no hooks for memory to grab onto. Your brain encodes information by connecting new data to existing knowledge, but names float free of context.
Compare this to occupations. If someone tells you they're a pilot, your brain instantly conjures images of cockpits, airports, uniforms, travel stories. Rich associations form immediately. But "Michael"? It's just a sound.
This is why the techniques that work for remembering names are so counterintuitive. You have to create the associations that other information provides naturally.
The good news is that psychologists have rigorously tested name memory techniques. We know what works—and the numbers are remarkable.
In a series of experiments published in Memory & Cognition, researchers tested three approaches: retrieval practice (repeatedly testing yourself), semantic associations (creating meaningful connections), and imagery mnemonics.
The findings:
In other experiments, the combination of retrieval practice and semantic associations improved recall by 300-400% compared to simple restudy.
Think about that. Using proper techniques, you could remember three to four times as many names. Not through some supernatural gift, but through understanding how memory actually works.
Interestingly, imagery mnemonics—visualising someone's name as a picture—didn't outperform simple instructions to "try hard to learn names" in real-world social situations like parties. The technique works in laboratory settings with photographs, but the cognitive load of creating elaborate mental images while also trying to have a conversation is too high.
Before we get into the techniques, it's worth understanding what's at stake. A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
When you use someone's name, you're communicating several things simultaneously:
When you forget someone's name—or worse, use the wrong name—you communicate the opposite. Even if you didn't mean to, you've told them they weren't worth remembering.
Jim Farley, one of the most successful political operatives in American history, built his career on remembering names. He could recall tens of thousands of people by their first names. When asked the secret to his success, he said it was simple: he made a point of learning and remembering everyone he met.
Based on the research, here's a practical system that combines the most effective techniques.
This sounds obvious, but it's where most people fail. The most common reason for forgetting names isn't poor memory—it's that you never really heard the name in the first place.
During introductions, most people are:
The name goes in one ear and out the other because you weren't really listening.
Fix this by making a conscious decision: when someone introduces themselves, focus entirely on hearing their name. Nothing else matters for that one second. Look at their face as they say it.
If you didn't catch it clearly, ask immediately: "I'm sorry, could you repeat your name?" This isn't embarrassing—it shows you care enough to get it right.
The research shows that testing yourself on information is far more effective than simply hearing it again. So instead of just repeating the name passively, use it.
Within the first minute of meeting someone:
Each use is a retrieval attempt. You're not just repeating what you heard—you're pulling the name from memory and connecting it to the person in front of you.
This works because retrieval strengthens the neural pathway. Every time you successfully recall the name, the memory becomes stronger.
Since names lack natural meaning, you need to manufacture one. The goal is to connect the name to something memorable about the person.
Look for any hook:
Physical features: "Tall Paul" or "Red Rachel" (someone with auburn hair)
Profession or hobby: "Pilot Pete" or "Runner Richard"
Location: If you met them at a conference, connect their name to the city
Someone you already know: "Sarah, like my cousin Sarah"
Something they mentioned: If James tells you he just got back from Japan, visualise him in a Japanese garden
The association doesn't need to be clever or even logical. It just needs to be something that connects the name to this specific person.
After the event, take two minutes to write down names you learned with brief notes:
This isn't just documentation—it's another retrieval opportunity. Trying to recall the names forces you to strengthen those memories.
Before your next encounter, review these notes. The person will be astonished that you remember details they barely remember sharing.
Napoleon III, Emperor of France, boasted that despite his royal duties he could remember the name of every person he met. His method was rigorous:
If he didn't hear the name distinctly, he would ask: "So sorry, I didn't get that."
If the name was unusual, he would ask how it was spelled.
During the conversation, he would repeat the name several times.
After the person left, he would write the name down, look at it, concentrate on it, fix it firmly in memory, and then tear up the paper.
Notice what he's doing: ensuring he actually heard it, creating additional associations (spelling), practising retrieval (using it in conversation), and consolidating the memory (writing and reviewing).
The approach is over 150 years old, and modern psychology confirms it's essentially optimal.
In our connected world, you have resources Napoleon never had. Use them.
Before meetings: Look people up on LinkedIn. Put names to faces before you arrive.
After meetings: Add contacts to your phone with notes. Take a photo if appropriate.
For regular encounters: Use your calendar app to add names to meeting invitations, even if you're the only attendee.
But here's the catch: these tools are supplements, not substitutes. The genuine effort to remember someone in real-time, face-to-face, communicates respect in a way that no technology can.
It happens to everyone. Here's how to handle it:
Ask directly: "I'm so sorry, but I've forgotten your name." It's honest and people appreciate it far more than awkward avoidance.
Use a mutual friend: Before approaching, quietly ask someone nearby: "Remind me of her name?"
The business card approach: "Could I get your card?" Then you have the name in front of you.
The spelling trick: "I'm sorry, how do you spell your name again?" This only works for names that plausibly have multiple spellings.
The worst approach is faking your way through the conversation, hoping their name will come up. It rarely does, and the awkwardness compounds.
This week, make it a goal to learn and use five new names properly.
For each person:
At the end of the week, test yourself. How many can you still recall? The names you processed using all four steps will be far more durable than those you just heard once and forgot.
On our Quarterdeck leadership courses, we emphasise that leadership begins with genuine interest in people—and nothing demonstrates that interest more simply than remembering who they are.
Remembering someone's name is just the beginning. It's the foundation for the next principle: being a good listener—encouraging them to talk about themselves and what matters to them.
When you remember someone's name and then show genuine interest in their thoughts and experiences, you become someone they want to be around. That's not manipulation—that's the basis of genuine human connection.
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.